Right from the start, my sole goal in this
journey is always to fulfill my dreams and not to engage in any
foolish acts of man. Along the way, I never intend to devour anyone's
pride, destroy certain existing social hierarchy nor seek for temporary
comfort in the expense of others. All I want is to be the person I wanna
be and do the things that are intended for my family's welfare. It is
also by fate, a consolation to meet those who can really see my soul.
People whom I call friends. People who always inspire me to live my life with light disposition. Anyone can just put a different meaning on
everything i do. Anyone can just accuse me of being superficial but if you're genuinely uninfluenced by any evil thoughts,
all you see is the sincerity of my intentions and the truthfulness of my
words.
Guarded
by my morals and strong conviction to succeed, i shall continue with my
journey no matter how long it'll take me and wherever it will be...
Friday, September 7, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
My Mom's Kitchen
I don't really know how to cook not until I got married. When I was younger, I just observed my mother doing the things in the kitchen and sometimes asking her questions or helping her out but I never had a chance to do a dish on my own. It's kinda weird but she seemed annoyed when somebody is talking to her while cooking. She used to "shoo" us away in her calm voice and tell us to do our own thing rather than disturb her at the kitchen. Haha! Well, I now understand that she just doesn't want us to get our hands dirty and lose our interest in studying. She would sacrifice everything just to get us all finish our education. Yes, my mother was a spoiler and even until now, she does things for her grandchildren.
Most of the things I learned from home management comes from my mother especially when it comes to experimenting on newly discovered recipes. It was always exciting to work with her since I started showing some interest in the kitchen. She has no degree in culinary arts but for me she's like a "walking encyclopedia" when it comes to mouth-watering main dishes. Even her relatives could attest to that. My mom is their favorite cook in most of their family gatherings in her younger years and now, she's gradually passing it to me. I feel pressured to that but I'm really flattered when she compliments the taste of my cooking. It's indeed rewarding when your family appreciates what you do for them. All the more, if it comes from your own mother. The very person whom I've been admiring since I was a kid. Happy cooking everyone!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Thou Shalt Not Use God's Name in Vain
"Thou shalt not use God's name in vain..." This is the first of "The Ten Commandments of God" written in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy based on the Hebrew and Roman Catholic Bible. And firmly I believed that the frequent abuse of it is becoming universal nowadays made possible by a number of social networking sites.
I have nothing against some people who are expressive in terms of exercising their faith by putting it into words and share it to almost anyone they know. However sometimes, you just can't help but notice and ask if they really mean what they are saying or they're just doing it out of a habit. And worst yet, it is just for some mere self- presentation purposes. It is all the more quite disturbing if you personally know these people who are fond of posting "godly" words and wall pictures at a certain social networking site ending almost each sentence with "god bless". At times, they are telling you or others to "pray" for your or their happiness, sorrows, shortcomings and practically almost anything under the sun that you could think of when in reality they just have nothing left to say when the situation is becoming awkward for them since they don't truly care for you or those people that they are conversing with. For me, its too generic and redundant like you could always read it from anyone online. I sometimes think that they are just using it as a cliche piece of advice as a shield for their lack of genuine personal regard. I wish they never said anything at all to those people if they are not true about what they say. The sad thing is no one has ever had the courage to throw it back unto their faces. I know, this may yield a number of reactions from anyone but I just wanna speak my mind and even you yourself could notice it too.
I have nothing against some people who are expressive in terms of exercising their faith by putting it into words and share it to almost anyone they know. However sometimes, you just can't help but notice and ask if they really mean what they are saying or they're just doing it out of a habit. And worst yet, it is just for some mere self- presentation purposes. It is all the more quite disturbing if you personally know these people who are fond of posting "godly" words and wall pictures at a certain social networking site ending almost each sentence with "god bless". At times, they are telling you or others to "pray" for your or their happiness, sorrows, shortcomings and practically almost anything under the sun that you could think of when in reality they just have nothing left to say when the situation is becoming awkward for them since they don't truly care for you or those people that they are conversing with. For me, its too generic and redundant like you could always read it from anyone online. I sometimes think that they are just using it as a cliche piece of advice as a shield for their lack of genuine personal regard. I wish they never said anything at all to those people if they are not true about what they say. The sad thing is no one has ever had the courage to throw it back unto their faces. I know, this may yield a number of reactions from anyone but I just wanna speak my mind and even you yourself could notice it too.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
ghost prank... gone wild
About a month ago, a ghost photo of a young Asian woman was shown to me from a mobile by my husband's office colleague. It was taken from the institution where they are working. (The above photo has similar image of ghost that was mentioned). She said that it was also just shared to her by a friend who took the picture and she was told a certain story of that ghost. According to the story, that woman has similar features of the Japanese girl who died a couple of months ago due to drowning from one of the diving sites in the island. At that instance, I really believed her. After all, I trusted her but my husband just laughed at us upon seeing the said image and conveyed that the ghost is just looked like from that of a "Hollywood" horror film. Even so, I ignored my husband's statement and still really got goosebumps from the picture. In fact, that night I prayed for the soul of that woman whoever she is.
The following day, my husband insisted that that picture is nothing but a fraud. He explained to me that there are certain mobile applications to be downloaded for free which can produce the same ghostly effect on any picture you want to be taken. So, I started to doubt about the claim regarding the picture and so I began to browse any possible applications and ghost pictures used to created an effect like that because I wanted to be objective as much as possible. Nobody would want to be deceived and so do I.
With perseverance and aim to seek the truth, I found the picture used in the application from a website. It was exactly the same woman from the picture that was shown to me including the pose, stare, hair and dress. I immediately informed my husband on my discovery. So, his assumptions were true. The picture was indeed nothing but a hoax.
Unfortunately, I heard that the picture has been spread in the entire community. I also saw that it was posted on a social networking site and shared by a number of people to their respective profiles. Those who posted the pictures also believed that such phenomenon was genuine, telling the people the same story I heard about it. It created a mass hysteria according to a friend psychiatrist whom I talked to. But the original creator of that hoax really claimed that he never used any applications or software to produce such effect. And the sad part is that his co-workers are supporting his lies. They disregarded some negative remarks about the authenticity of the picture.
If only I could confront him and tell him right into his face that what he did was a public disturbance. If I am his boss, I could have fired him right in that very instance when I found out the truth. It was so damaging especially to the young children who happened to see the image and heard the falsified ghost story.
After about a couple of weeks later, he finally admitted that the whole thing was a lie. That it was just supposed to be a ghost prank. He said that he was only pressured by his father since the latter had spread it quickly first before he could actually told him the truth. Then, it had gone out of control. However, instead of being hateful about what he did some people had pity on him just like a child who just dropped a glass of water. Seriously?
I was relieved but at the same time still furious about what happened. I couldn't believed that I was fooled by a person who is known to be trustworthy. I thought people like him at his age should already know the difference between integrity and parental pressure.
Above all, I just don't understand some people who think that they could always fool others and really believed that they can get away with it leaving no traces at all. I also don't understand on why they are willing to trade their integrity for such a non-sense act of deceit. Ultimately, I don't understand on why there are still people who believed on them after the incident. And I think, it is the most disturbing thing that I've ever encountered.
People Has Always Something To Say About You
When you speak of kindness, people will say that you're such a "pleaser"...
When you're sincere, people will say that you're trying to "tame" them...
When you're polite, people will say that you're just being "needy"...
When you speak of truth, people will say that you're desperate to be a "somebody"...
When you're being open in telling your stories, people will say that you're such a "drama queen"....
And... when you're generous, people will say that you're buying them out.....
So sad.......... People will never run out of things to say about you...
Who knows why they are saying that... A bunch of underlying reasons
maybe but you might also waste time thinking about it....
So, it's always best to be TRUE to yourself and don't let those people take that away from YOU.......
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
the irony of life sometimes...
u believe those who lied to u... and u despise those who had spoken the truth...
u care about those who tried to destroy u... and u ignore those who truly cared...
u adore those who rejected u... and u disregard those who accepted u...
u trust those who betrayed u.... and u suspected those who don't...
u love the things that don't necessarily matter.... and u hate those that matter most...
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Back in Action
Its been awhile that I haven't posted nor visited my blog spot account. I dunno what happened. I just lost my interest into it. Maybe I was just too busy doing the things that I don't usually do since I resigned from work last March of 2011. Well, I'm back in action again and I'm excited about putting things into words. There's just so many things I wanna say that I wanna get started right now!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
though, we may be far away from each other but I cherish every good and not so good memories that we had back here in the Phils… hahahah! such as….the “asaran at pambubully” ” dahil mas matangos ilong nyo kaysa sa akin, ingay, tawanan, agawan ng pusa tuwing hating gabi , chizmisan, seryosong usapan, kulitan, inisan, inggitan, galitan, takutan (manong mic2x), pagpapaubaya dahil di nyo ako kaya…hahaha! (malakas ang backup ko), pagkarga nyo sa akin kapag nakakatulog ako sa sala kahit high skul na ako, and ultimately, thanx for just being a brother to me …pagsaluhan nyo na lamang etong cake nyo... happee bday to my two manongs... Manong Ian (November 03) and Manong Micmic (October 31)...
I'm so thankful to have you as my brothers. There are no others who could fill your shoes… i became what i am because of you two as part of our family. aside from our parents and manang laving, i owe you my creativity, determination and strength as a person. Love u much mga Manongs ko… I miss both of you... :)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Online Shopping at Home
As a working mom, basically my world revolves around my career and my family. At times, doing or buying something for myself is just so difficult to fit into my schedule. I'm stuck in an eight- hour job during the day and get to travel for almost an hour just to arrive home. After which, I have to cook dinner or do other household chores but it doesn't ends there. I still need to monitor my child's academic needs plus not mention that I have to catch up things with my husband. So, having a late night talk with him completes my day.
A routine like this is nearly impossible for me to go shopping especially when a need arises. However, I found a great way to solve this dilemma and that is through the use of internet. I realized that this concern is no longer an issue nowadays since technology becomes our partner for easy access to the basic life necessities.
I was looking for online shops that cater my shopping needs right from my very own home. Luckily, I found a website that is practically has it all from underwear, slippers, accesories, appliances, gadgets, office equipments and the like. I was also fascinated by how reasonable the prices of its items. It's easy to shop online. All you need to have is a credit card to help you transact Now, there is no more reason to be out of fad because shopping can be just a "mouse click" away.
A routine like this is nearly impossible for me to go shopping especially when a need arises. However, I found a great way to solve this dilemma and that is through the use of internet. I realized that this concern is no longer an issue nowadays since technology becomes our partner for easy access to the basic life necessities.
I was looking for online shops that cater my shopping needs right from my very own home. Luckily, I found a website that is practically has it all from underwear, slippers, accesories, appliances, gadgets, office equipments and the like. I was also fascinated by how reasonable the prices of its items. It's easy to shop online. All you need to have is a credit card to help you transact Now, there is no more reason to be out of fad because shopping can be just a "mouse click" away.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
how we got started 11 yrs ago
I'm Lucy and my husband is Pete. We were married for almost 20 years now and still counting. We've been through a lot of challenges. Most of those were resolved without others knowing it. We believe that since we enter into this kind of commitment, we also vowed to heed over the responsibility of our relationship no matter what. Its a lifetime pledge and nobody could best help us except only the two of us. Unless, if the problem gotten really worse then thats the time we would ask for other people's assistance but its gonna be our last resort since others don't know about other issues we have. They may not be of help about that and it would even make the situation become unmanageable. Then, the problem extends outside the parameter that we never expected. But so far, we never had a conflict that brought our sanity into a test- if I may say that way.
When we got married, it was in our teenage years and people know how young we were. I remember the time when we went to City Hall for the processing of our marriage license. We were both wearing a pair of jeans while back pack bags dangled freely at our left arm. Then, the attendant asked us if who's couple are going to apply for the said license and he was surprised to know that he is already talking to them. Jokingly, he mentioned that we don't look like at our legal age yet. Upon hearing it, we just look at each other and laughed. It was unguarded and funny....... but later when we left the office, a reality has sank in. It is a kind of reality that we been contemplating since we got into such decision... that its too early for us to get married and we were uncertain if we're ready in any of the aspects needed to make our relationship work. All we know was the responsibility that we are carrying over a growing baby and the love that we have with each other. It was an amazing decision that opened our eyes towards a number of life's revelations.
As I look back, I remember the prejudice, shame and disgust by the people around us for these had marked a tremendous scar in the way we look at them. And in return, it also had affected the way we look at ourselves as persons. These mainly stemmed from the frustrations caused by their expections towards us, that we fail their dreams for us for getting married and having a family too early than they expected. That we are unworthy of their love and respect and so it is easy for them to humiliate us and throw sarcasms about our situation. We live in a society where dignity and honor are two essential things in order to look good before other people. It was not easy for us who got the baby first before having a wedlock. At times, we were even robbed about our authority as parents to our son because they believed that their parenting style is better than ours. There were even some who presupposed on how short our love affair would last and we can't stand on the turmoil of marriage for many years to come. And sad to say and a very depressing reality as well that most of them used to be close to us.
Nevertheless, as I come to think of it, there was no other major concern we had in the past but only about those people who made our life more emotionally and psychologically struggling. Yes, we had petty fights and minor arguments over little things but we were happy as a couple even if we don't have something extraordinary which we could brag to the world or any outstanding achievements to prove to anyone. All that we have was each other, our son, our marriage and we felt complete about it. Yes, we crave for essential things in life but it was not a major concern for we believed that we will achieve these things if we will strive harder.
Above all, i already forgiven those people whom both intentionally and unintentionally hurt us and I hope we're forgiven by them too. Life is indeed too short as they say and it's such a waste of time to dwell on negative feelings. How we got started as a couple taught us the lessons we need to learn about marriage, parenthood, life per se and most importantly, as individual persons. These enabled us to withstand any possible obstacles that comes along the way, in a journey that we call life.
When we got married, it was in our teenage years and people know how young we were. I remember the time when we went to City Hall for the processing of our marriage license. We were both wearing a pair of jeans while back pack bags dangled freely at our left arm. Then, the attendant asked us if who's couple are going to apply for the said license and he was surprised to know that he is already talking to them. Jokingly, he mentioned that we don't look like at our legal age yet. Upon hearing it, we just look at each other and laughed. It was unguarded and funny....... but later when we left the office, a reality has sank in. It is a kind of reality that we been contemplating since we got into such decision... that its too early for us to get married and we were uncertain if we're ready in any of the aspects needed to make our relationship work. All we know was the responsibility that we are carrying over a growing baby and the love that we have with each other. It was an amazing decision that opened our eyes towards a number of life's revelations.
As I look back, I remember the prejudice, shame and disgust by the people around us for these had marked a tremendous scar in the way we look at them. And in return, it also had affected the way we look at ourselves as persons. These mainly stemmed from the frustrations caused by their expections towards us, that we fail their dreams for us for getting married and having a family too early than they expected. That we are unworthy of their love and respect and so it is easy for them to humiliate us and throw sarcasms about our situation. We live in a society where dignity and honor are two essential things in order to look good before other people. It was not easy for us who got the baby first before having a wedlock. At times, we were even robbed about our authority as parents to our son because they believed that their parenting style is better than ours. There were even some who presupposed on how short our love affair would last and we can't stand on the turmoil of marriage for many years to come. And sad to say and a very depressing reality as well that most of them used to be close to us.
Nevertheless, as I come to think of it, there was no other major concern we had in the past but only about those people who made our life more emotionally and psychologically struggling. Yes, we had petty fights and minor arguments over little things but we were happy as a couple even if we don't have something extraordinary which we could brag to the world or any outstanding achievements to prove to anyone. All that we have was each other, our son, our marriage and we felt complete about it. Yes, we crave for essential things in life but it was not a major concern for we believed that we will achieve these things if we will strive harder.
Above all, i already forgiven those people whom both intentionally and unintentionally hurt us and I hope we're forgiven by them too. Life is indeed too short as they say and it's such a waste of time to dwell on negative feelings. How we got started as a couple taught us the lessons we need to learn about marriage, parenthood, life per se and most importantly, as individual persons. These enabled us to withstand any possible obstacles that comes along the way, in a journey that we call life.
Friday, August 6, 2010
i don't know which road to go
i am confronted with a lot of issues today about myself as worker. am i really effective or just going with flow? am i too comfortable that i don't wanna leave my comfort zone? or am i looking for something different from what i usually do? these questions are lingering on my mind for a couple of days, months or even years now...
there were times that i could feel intense happiness in line with how i undertake my job. there were also times that i find fulfillment from what i do. however, there were moments of emptiness and frustration. i really don't know how will i put these feelings into words but all i am aware about is that i'm experiencing these things and been running in my thoughts for quite awhile.
i don't even understand myself. if this is about unsatisfaction with my job, then why did i declined two job offers last year and another three just this year? i got excited about being shortlisted but eventually would lose my interest after a few negotiations. God, i really don't what's happening. i don't know which road to go...
there were times that i could feel intense happiness in line with how i undertake my job. there were also times that i find fulfillment from what i do. however, there were moments of emptiness and frustration. i really don't know how will i put these feelings into words but all i am aware about is that i'm experiencing these things and been running in my thoughts for quite awhile.
i don't even understand myself. if this is about unsatisfaction with my job, then why did i declined two job offers last year and another three just this year? i got excited about being shortlisted but eventually would lose my interest after a few negotiations. God, i really don't what's happening. i don't know which road to go...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
As I Journey
I went through a lot in life. Some experiences are considered as the dark chapter which I successfully overcome. I met quite many faces, some were friendly and warm. Others were as bitter as their dispositions. I value my past as much as the present and future. It guides to where I am right now. I haven't achieved yet my ultimate goal in life and I don't consider myself as successful despite on what others are telling me and this is quite disturbing. When will i get to be self-actualized? Does it mean that by then, I already achieved all my aspirations and aims in life? Or does anyone really get to that experience? Man by nature, is not satisfied no matter how much he accomplished. How will he know that he achieved that certain hierarchy?
Well, this journey is never easy but I will do whatever it takes to achieve my dreams without necessarily jeopardizing my realtionship with others. As the song goes by Miley Cyrus "Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side... but its the climb.."
Well, this journey is never easy but I will do whatever it takes to achieve my dreams without necessarily jeopardizing my realtionship with others. As the song goes by Miley Cyrus "Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side... but its the climb.."
Monday, August 2, 2010
Should counselors develop their own counseling approach or follow an existing one?
I believe that there is no boundary for innovations and so it is in counseling. It is an advantage for counselors to develop their own counseling approach. They must be open for further updates that would be helpful in pursuing the goal of their practice. However, the said approach that will be developed should be in line with the existing philosophical orientations. It must also be scientifically validated. In counseling, what we are talking about here is how to improve lives and it’s unethical to practice this without a concrete foundation of the basics- the science. That it is just a mere formulation of the counselor’s imagination or aspirations which spurred from an ambiguous reference.
Counseling, as co- discipline of education can be either ruin or make lives. So, it is a great responsibility and a challenge for the counseling practitioners to keep abreast on the latest advancement in the study of human behavior specifically in the theoretical principles of counseling. This is in order to ensure the proper delivery of service among their clientele that would somehow contribute an immense help to our society not only today but also for future generations.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
My Tale of an Office Bitch
I’m a young father of a 4 year-old kid. My family and I live in a town next to the Lutheran Church. I’ve been married for 5 years and my life runs smoothly, I guess. I got an averaged earning job, loving wife and a house of our own. I would consider my life as a something everyone would want to have, if they’re contented with the simplicity of lifestyle. All I am wishing is a promotion. I worked in the company for 5 years now and I never get to step a block a little bit higher.
Meanwhile, to get my story started... It was an ordinary day in the office when I first met a new co- worker named Carlotta Cruz. She’s from another department of the company but was recommended by my supervisor as a document staff in our office. There were stories I heard about her even before she entered our office. Allegedly, the reason why she was absorbed in our department is because of politics. Our supervisor personally like her because a bit of a "bitchy" type girl and there is no female employee yet in our office. But anyway, we can’t do anything about it since we're not in the position to negate against our supervisor. And even if our opinions will be asked, these don’t matter anymore.
It was her first day of work and being a gentleman, I offered her my seat for her to become comfortable in the office. She smiled and thanked me for that.
At first, I really don’t like her because of the influences of tales I heard about her. According to the legend(if I may say it like this), her performance as a worker was terrible. She was a graduate of the discipline I came from but she can't do a simple debugging task. I also happened to overhear some gossips that when she was still a student, she used to pay people for her thesis. Technically, she’s under-skilled. So, it’s quite awkward to work with a person like this. Aside from that, she has these strong features: cat-liked eyes, high cheekbone, and sky-scraping eyebrows and short button nose… Not really a pretty face but she’s a fair-skinned mama, had a pair of great jugglers and with an average height. So, all the guys in the office look on her as a goddess… but she’s too proud about it. Sometimes, she responded to them with a snob or throws sarcasm. Yet, I guess this is just her way of catching attention from the guys around. She’s really not fine-looking but her charm amazes any man in the office. She even looked like our 3rd housekeeper when my family moved in the village, where I’m currently living.
Days had past, and I’m quite sick in the routine of the office. It will only be brighten by Carlotta’s company. Most of the guys in the office would consider her as loud and vulgar but ironically, she’s nice to me. I can’t really understand why she’s treating me like that until I noticed some things about her. She would refuse to go with me during snacks and lunch breaks either together with my other officemates. Her seat is located at the rear part of the office and mine is at the front but there are things that I cannot say in the presence of the other officemates since I don’t find comfortable conversing with them. So, most of the time we chat through IM.
Once, during a coffee break when we munched together over a box of donuts in the kitchen when she suddenly murmurs something to me. She said that I am attractive compared to all the rest of the guys in the office. From that moment, it felt like the time had stopped. I don’t know what to say. I awkwardly responded with a smile. On my mind, I never met a girl who’s very direct as her. Then, I would understand that as she liked me because knowing her personality, she doesn’t give flattering remarks to people easily.
In one instance, we talked about weddings and everyone knows that my wife and I are married judicially. So, we still need to plan for our church wedding. However, she asked me on what would be my dream wedding. And so I answered that I like my wedding to take place in a yacht, performed by a priest whose a friend of mine. With very few selected guests, the ceremony will be solemnly conducted. I also like my honeymoon would take place in a cruise. After she heard my answers, she smiled and said… “ Ahh! That’s what you want in your 2nd wedding?”She was overemphasizing that there will be a second girl for that wedding and its not my wife… I replied to her with a puzzled face and said “What?” Seeing my reaction and seems ashamed about what she said, she tried to reverse the idea but ended up stuttering. It gave me an idea that she wishes to be my second wife. She’s initiating some “motives” and making herself more vulnerable to something else I would not want to happen between the two of us. However, those incidents never stopped affected our dynamics in the office because many weeks later, we became good friends. She discloses herself to me and opens up a lot of things about herself, her friends and family as well. According to her, she lost her father before she graduated in grade school that is why her mother remarried another man. This made her having a half- brother and 3 half- sisters. But her mother died after she graduated in high school. She had a sister who got married at 18 but got separated from her husband a few months after the wedding. The sad part here is that, she’s not in good terms with her step- dad and I don’t know the reasons why. And so she’s living with her relatives from one place to another. I even know some things that are quite sensitive about her and such as having sexual relationships to a number of guys in the past. With these, I developed some degree of understanding and compassion towards her.
And so, whenever I had problems at home, she would console me sympathetically and reassuring me that I'll be fine. Hearing those words from her, and thinking all those wonderful moments with her, I felt something. I don’t know if it’s right but I firmly believed it’s something different- that I’m falling for her.
I had a great time with Carlotta and I know she’s also enjoying it too. Each day feels like I’m in a "cloud nine" when she’s there with me. Our connection had strenghtened. She would come with me after office hours to sip some coffee or dine out in some fancy restaurants near our work place.
One night, when I visited my friend’s store, she's tagged along with me to buy some goodies for her uncle whose leaving the following day. As we traveled, I enjoyed watching her. Her skin reflects as the lights touch it. Ohh… I just love her smile as she talks. Her graceful charm made me feel crazy about her. I could really say to myself that my life is empty when I can’t see her in just one day.
I never noticed that my feelings for her became intensed. Prior to that, my situation at home got worst. My wife is turning into a paranoid. She would accuse me of flirting with someone else in the office or with my other friends and the sad thing here is that I’m guilty about it since I'm actually doing it or more awful than that. It is because Carlotta and I are treating each other as more than friends but we’re just denying that fact.
Carlotta became special to me but I don’t want to get involved with her seriously. I felt something about her but not more than I love my wife as what I'm trying to tell to myself. I guess I was just tempted by the way she carries herself.
A week later, Carlotta told me about her suitor when they happened to see each other between the street of Nelson and Oasis. She said that the guy sarcastically asked her on where’s her boyfriend? Why she’s not with him during those hours? I am the "boyfriend" that the guy is referring. Upon hearing that story, I was stunned and felt numb. In silence, I realized that I’m guilty about that again! I wasn’t aware on how often that we were together outside the office that everyone could see us. I felt sorry for myself and for my wife. My wife had given me trust and love but this is what I’m giving her back.
Many weeks later, Carlotta informed us in the office that she’s leaving for New Zealand. She said that her sister wants her assistance in milking the cows. Her sister said that the place is beautiful and there are a lot of opportunities awaiting for her. Aside from that, there would be a young businessman who wants to meet Carlotta. So, it would be her great chance to become rich in an instant if ever that man will marry her! Apart from that, she is afraid from the threat that she will never get marry when she passed the age of 25, as that’s the legacy in their family. With no hesitation, Carlotta flew to New Zealand following her sister’s request and meet the rich young man.
Above all, I guess it’s a better idea that she left for somebody else. After all, if I would keep her- she might have still chose the rich young man since its something she really wanted in the first place. Knowing that she already lost her parents and being under-skilled worker, it will be her last option to survive. She cannot live without anyone else's money. I felt bad about it because I'll be missing her. There will be no more coffee breaks and lunch outs with Carlotta anymore. No more loud laughs and IMs without her.
Weeks later, guilt is slowly sinking into my system because everytime I'm missing her, I know that I'm hurting my wife. This burden continued until one night, when my wife and I are having a late night talk. I asked her to listen to what I'll say to her. She looked into my eyes and I never felt so much ashame in my life. When I paused for a moment, she asked me again about what that thing I want her to know about. From that instance, it felt like my blood is rushing through my viens and my body got paralyzed. Its like I can't open my mouth to speak. Noticing that my wife is patiently waiting for me, I uttered the first few words about my infidelity, that all of my lies were true and all she has seen and felt were stemmed on a tangible basis. As my wife heard those, she burst in tears unrelentingly for the next few minutes. She can't say or do anything but cry. Seeing this, I held her and told her how sorry I was but she refuses to let me touch her.
Since then, there were days and weeks when my wife doesn't talk to me. It felt like I'm invisible. I felt trully sorry for what I did. I got weakened and manipulated by a charm of a woman from nowhere.
Today, my wife and I are still coping with our marriage. I realized how much I love my wife over a b*tch named Carlotta. Nevertheless, I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that no matter what happens, I’ll always love my wife regardless of her flaws as a person, the same as mine. It's hard to admit but I was pathetic when I met Carlotta. In her, i believe that I might be looking onto something that I can’t find from my wife. I was blinded by Carlotta’s spells. I allowed myself to be blazed by the inferno of lust. Somehow, I realized that she’s only nice to me because she wants something from me… but she failed. I thanked God for my honesty and the will to stop my madness. I thanked God that nothing seriously happend between Carlotta and I. My wife may not appreciate it now because of the hurts that I caused her but I know deep inside her, she believed in me.
In marriage, it is more than just having a wife and a family. It's a lifetime commitment that you vowed everywhere you go and whatever you do. Failing to do your duties as a partner doesn't necessarily mean a "doom" but a learning experience for you to work on. However, you can never gain back the ruined trust so easily. You must work hard on it. Saying "no" to temptations can be a difficult thing to do when you allow yourself to be consumed by it at the start. One must learn to distinguish the boundaries between the dynamics in the office. After all, coffee breaks and lunch outs are temporary relief for survival in the daily struggles of life. At the end of the day, your wife and children are your final refuge.
Actual Date Written: June 2005
Meanwhile, to get my story started... It was an ordinary day in the office when I first met a new co- worker named Carlotta Cruz. She’s from another department of the company but was recommended by my supervisor as a document staff in our office. There were stories I heard about her even before she entered our office. Allegedly, the reason why she was absorbed in our department is because of politics. Our supervisor personally like her because a bit of a "bitchy" type girl and there is no female employee yet in our office. But anyway, we can’t do anything about it since we're not in the position to negate against our supervisor. And even if our opinions will be asked, these don’t matter anymore.
It was her first day of work and being a gentleman, I offered her my seat for her to become comfortable in the office. She smiled and thanked me for that.
At first, I really don’t like her because of the influences of tales I heard about her. According to the legend(if I may say it like this), her performance as a worker was terrible. She was a graduate of the discipline I came from but she can't do a simple debugging task. I also happened to overhear some gossips that when she was still a student, she used to pay people for her thesis. Technically, she’s under-skilled. So, it’s quite awkward to work with a person like this. Aside from that, she has these strong features: cat-liked eyes, high cheekbone, and sky-scraping eyebrows and short button nose… Not really a pretty face but she’s a fair-skinned mama, had a pair of great jugglers and with an average height. So, all the guys in the office look on her as a goddess… but she’s too proud about it. Sometimes, she responded to them with a snob or throws sarcasm. Yet, I guess this is just her way of catching attention from the guys around. She’s really not fine-looking but her charm amazes any man in the office. She even looked like our 3rd housekeeper when my family moved in the village, where I’m currently living.
Days had past, and I’m quite sick in the routine of the office. It will only be brighten by Carlotta’s company. Most of the guys in the office would consider her as loud and vulgar but ironically, she’s nice to me. I can’t really understand why she’s treating me like that until I noticed some things about her. She would refuse to go with me during snacks and lunch breaks either together with my other officemates. Her seat is located at the rear part of the office and mine is at the front but there are things that I cannot say in the presence of the other officemates since I don’t find comfortable conversing with them. So, most of the time we chat through IM.
Once, during a coffee break when we munched together over a box of donuts in the kitchen when she suddenly murmurs something to me. She said that I am attractive compared to all the rest of the guys in the office. From that moment, it felt like the time had stopped. I don’t know what to say. I awkwardly responded with a smile. On my mind, I never met a girl who’s very direct as her. Then, I would understand that as she liked me because knowing her personality, she doesn’t give flattering remarks to people easily.
In one instance, we talked about weddings and everyone knows that my wife and I are married judicially. So, we still need to plan for our church wedding. However, she asked me on what would be my dream wedding. And so I answered that I like my wedding to take place in a yacht, performed by a priest whose a friend of mine. With very few selected guests, the ceremony will be solemnly conducted. I also like my honeymoon would take place in a cruise. After she heard my answers, she smiled and said… “ Ahh! That’s what you want in your 2nd wedding?”She was overemphasizing that there will be a second girl for that wedding and its not my wife… I replied to her with a puzzled face and said “What?” Seeing my reaction and seems ashamed about what she said, she tried to reverse the idea but ended up stuttering. It gave me an idea that she wishes to be my second wife. She’s initiating some “motives” and making herself more vulnerable to something else I would not want to happen between the two of us. However, those incidents never stopped affected our dynamics in the office because many weeks later, we became good friends. She discloses herself to me and opens up a lot of things about herself, her friends and family as well. According to her, she lost her father before she graduated in grade school that is why her mother remarried another man. This made her having a half- brother and 3 half- sisters. But her mother died after she graduated in high school. She had a sister who got married at 18 but got separated from her husband a few months after the wedding. The sad part here is that, she’s not in good terms with her step- dad and I don’t know the reasons why. And so she’s living with her relatives from one place to another. I even know some things that are quite sensitive about her and such as having sexual relationships to a number of guys in the past. With these, I developed some degree of understanding and compassion towards her.
And so, whenever I had problems at home, she would console me sympathetically and reassuring me that I'll be fine. Hearing those words from her, and thinking all those wonderful moments with her, I felt something. I don’t know if it’s right but I firmly believed it’s something different- that I’m falling for her.
I had a great time with Carlotta and I know she’s also enjoying it too. Each day feels like I’m in a "cloud nine" when she’s there with me. Our connection had strenghtened. She would come with me after office hours to sip some coffee or dine out in some fancy restaurants near our work place.
One night, when I visited my friend’s store, she's tagged along with me to buy some goodies for her uncle whose leaving the following day. As we traveled, I enjoyed watching her. Her skin reflects as the lights touch it. Ohh… I just love her smile as she talks. Her graceful charm made me feel crazy about her. I could really say to myself that my life is empty when I can’t see her in just one day.
I never noticed that my feelings for her became intensed. Prior to that, my situation at home got worst. My wife is turning into a paranoid. She would accuse me of flirting with someone else in the office or with my other friends and the sad thing here is that I’m guilty about it since I'm actually doing it or more awful than that. It is because Carlotta and I are treating each other as more than friends but we’re just denying that fact.
Carlotta became special to me but I don’t want to get involved with her seriously. I felt something about her but not more than I love my wife as what I'm trying to tell to myself. I guess I was just tempted by the way she carries herself.
A week later, Carlotta told me about her suitor when they happened to see each other between the street of Nelson and Oasis. She said that the guy sarcastically asked her on where’s her boyfriend? Why she’s not with him during those hours? I am the "boyfriend" that the guy is referring. Upon hearing that story, I was stunned and felt numb. In silence, I realized that I’m guilty about that again! I wasn’t aware on how often that we were together outside the office that everyone could see us. I felt sorry for myself and for my wife. My wife had given me trust and love but this is what I’m giving her back.
Many weeks later, Carlotta informed us in the office that she’s leaving for New Zealand. She said that her sister wants her assistance in milking the cows. Her sister said that the place is beautiful and there are a lot of opportunities awaiting for her. Aside from that, there would be a young businessman who wants to meet Carlotta. So, it would be her great chance to become rich in an instant if ever that man will marry her! Apart from that, she is afraid from the threat that she will never get marry when she passed the age of 25, as that’s the legacy in their family. With no hesitation, Carlotta flew to New Zealand following her sister’s request and meet the rich young man.
Above all, I guess it’s a better idea that she left for somebody else. After all, if I would keep her- she might have still chose the rich young man since its something she really wanted in the first place. Knowing that she already lost her parents and being under-skilled worker, it will be her last option to survive. She cannot live without anyone else's money. I felt bad about it because I'll be missing her. There will be no more coffee breaks and lunch outs with Carlotta anymore. No more loud laughs and IMs without her.
Weeks later, guilt is slowly sinking into my system because everytime I'm missing her, I know that I'm hurting my wife. This burden continued until one night, when my wife and I are having a late night talk. I asked her to listen to what I'll say to her. She looked into my eyes and I never felt so much ashame in my life. When I paused for a moment, she asked me again about what that thing I want her to know about. From that instance, it felt like my blood is rushing through my viens and my body got paralyzed. Its like I can't open my mouth to speak. Noticing that my wife is patiently waiting for me, I uttered the first few words about my infidelity, that all of my lies were true and all she has seen and felt were stemmed on a tangible basis. As my wife heard those, she burst in tears unrelentingly for the next few minutes. She can't say or do anything but cry. Seeing this, I held her and told her how sorry I was but she refuses to let me touch her.
Since then, there were days and weeks when my wife doesn't talk to me. It felt like I'm invisible. I felt trully sorry for what I did. I got weakened and manipulated by a charm of a woman from nowhere.
Today, my wife and I are still coping with our marriage. I realized how much I love my wife over a b*tch named Carlotta. Nevertheless, I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that no matter what happens, I’ll always love my wife regardless of her flaws as a person, the same as mine. It's hard to admit but I was pathetic when I met Carlotta. In her, i believe that I might be looking onto something that I can’t find from my wife. I was blinded by Carlotta’s spells. I allowed myself to be blazed by the inferno of lust. Somehow, I realized that she’s only nice to me because she wants something from me… but she failed. I thanked God for my honesty and the will to stop my madness. I thanked God that nothing seriously happend between Carlotta and I. My wife may not appreciate it now because of the hurts that I caused her but I know deep inside her, she believed in me.
In marriage, it is more than just having a wife and a family. It's a lifetime commitment that you vowed everywhere you go and whatever you do. Failing to do your duties as a partner doesn't necessarily mean a "doom" but a learning experience for you to work on. However, you can never gain back the ruined trust so easily. You must work hard on it. Saying "no" to temptations can be a difficult thing to do when you allow yourself to be consumed by it at the start. One must learn to distinguish the boundaries between the dynamics in the office. After all, coffee breaks and lunch outs are temporary relief for survival in the daily struggles of life. At the end of the day, your wife and children are your final refuge.
Actual Date Written: June 2005
Saturday, July 31, 2010
how dare u?
how dare u judge me wen u dont know my struggles in d past as a wife ... and even f u do so, y are u still denying me on feeling the feelings i have about my intuitions? i can't understand people sometimes... they tend to say something that they didn't really understand... read between the lines... observe and dont be fooled by what they reasoned as the truth... u dont know about people these days... they tend to be more risk- taker, decieving and dishonest...
however, if u tolerate immorality in ur system then, so be it... sooner or later u will realize how much part of ur soul has already burned in hell...
however, if u tolerate immorality in ur system then, so be it... sooner or later u will realize how much part of ur soul has already burned in hell...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Some Gift Wrapping Ideas
Giving of gift is a wonderful expression of how people appreciate others. It's also a symbolic way of showing affection to those whom you value most. It comes in all sizes and monetary or sentimental significance for various types of affairs and occasions. At times, people give gifts without apparent reason or even without any occasion at all.
Mostly, a good presentation of a gift matters and there's no better way to do that than gift wrapping. Similar to clothes, it marks certain impressions on the part of the giver. However, custom gift wrapping at the malls or craft stores can be very expensive. So, having a good set of imagination and creativity will do much trick in order to save a lot of money. With this, the following are areas you may want to consider in order to make your little project extraordinarily pleasant but doesn't empty your pocket:
(1) Identifying your budget must be the first thing on mind. You must set your limit within the allowable fund to avoid guilt from overspending. When walking along the shelves of good crafting materials, you must always think of what you need for your project in a particular time and not about for future ones. It might not be used and will just add up to your " later to use" clutters.
(2) Knowing what materials to use is also another factor to consider. Having a list is very helpful especially when you tend to forget small details of your project. It can be time consuming if you go to the craft's store without previously identifying what stuff you need. You must plan ahead at least a day or a few hours before crashing off the store to avoid buying the wrong or unnecessary materials for it.
(3) It is important as well to know the gender and personality of the receiver. These will determine the design of your project. A floral and pink design may not be applicable to a male reciever. Its either he or you will be embarrassed during the occassion. If you lack information about the person you're planning to give your gift, it is vital to ask from available resources (relatives, colleagues, classmates or friends).
(4) A motif/theme affects the mood of the occassion. It conceptualizes the whole experience of it. And you should match your gift wrapping design to it. Colors play a significant element of the motif/theme. It can make an impact to your gift. Hence, you should choose the right ones for the occassion and gender of the receiver.
(5) Think about "out of the box" ideas. It doesn't necessarily mean that when it comes to gift wrapping, you can solely use papers and ribbons. Don't be afraid to try out other unconventional materials. Beads, feathers, flowers, stones, fabrics or even metal pieces can do magic as accents and focal points for it. Glass bottles, sea shells, wood, fruit's husks can be the outstanding ideas as gift containers other than a simple lame cardboard box. You can also recycle some materials you'll find in your whymsical craft box. This saves a lot of pennies.
Nevertheless , it's anything goes when it comes to gift wrapping. The world is a big canvass to work on. Explore or play with it and you'll be amazed of what you can do! Regardless of how you labor or spent for your project, it is always essential to do it whole-heartedly and not just to impress others. After all, your gift will be delightfully accepted no matter how big, small or how it is made.
Mostly, a good presentation of a gift matters and there's no better way to do that than gift wrapping. Similar to clothes, it marks certain impressions on the part of the giver. However, custom gift wrapping at the malls or craft stores can be very expensive. So, having a good set of imagination and creativity will do much trick in order to save a lot of money. With this, the following are areas you may want to consider in order to make your little project extraordinarily pleasant but doesn't empty your pocket:
(1) Identifying your budget must be the first thing on mind. You must set your limit within the allowable fund to avoid guilt from overspending. When walking along the shelves of good crafting materials, you must always think of what you need for your project in a particular time and not about for future ones. It might not be used and will just add up to your " later to use" clutters.
(2) Knowing what materials to use is also another factor to consider. Having a list is very helpful especially when you tend to forget small details of your project. It can be time consuming if you go to the craft's store without previously identifying what stuff you need. You must plan ahead at least a day or a few hours before crashing off the store to avoid buying the wrong or unnecessary materials for it.
(3) It is important as well to know the gender and personality of the receiver. These will determine the design of your project. A floral and pink design may not be applicable to a male reciever. Its either he or you will be embarrassed during the occassion. If you lack information about the person you're planning to give your gift, it is vital to ask from available resources (relatives, colleagues, classmates or friends).
(4) A motif/theme affects the mood of the occassion. It conceptualizes the whole experience of it. And you should match your gift wrapping design to it. Colors play a significant element of the motif/theme. It can make an impact to your gift. Hence, you should choose the right ones for the occassion and gender of the receiver.
(5) Think about "out of the box" ideas. It doesn't necessarily mean that when it comes to gift wrapping, you can solely use papers and ribbons. Don't be afraid to try out other unconventional materials. Beads, feathers, flowers, stones, fabrics or even metal pieces can do magic as accents and focal points for it. Glass bottles, sea shells, wood, fruit's husks can be the outstanding ideas as gift containers other than a simple lame cardboard box. You can also recycle some materials you'll find in your whymsical craft box. This saves a lot of pennies.
Nevertheless , it's anything goes when it comes to gift wrapping. The world is a big canvass to work on. Explore or play with it and you'll be amazed of what you can do! Regardless of how you labor or spent for your project, it is always essential to do it whole-heartedly and not just to impress others. After all, your gift will be delightfully accepted no matter how big, small or how it is made.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
ADDU CAT Class of 2010-11 Silent Drill
This morning I witnessed a silent drill performed by the Ateneo de Davao High School CAT, Class of 2010 in celebration of the Feast of St. Ignatious de Loyola. The latter is the founder of the Jesuit education. In the Philippines alone, there are eight universities and hundreds were established abroad.
Its my third time to attend such important event of the Ateneans in Davao City. Everyone was excited as they march at the ADDU Sports Complex. Parents, administrators, teachers, students played as spectators. Some were cheering as they execute the different military gestures and movements. I'm impressed about their uniform. Most of the colors are showcasing the "true-blue" Atenean color. However, i would consider the performance as fair because it lacks syncrocity, speed and accuracy. I also sighted a number of errors.
I believe that they still need to practice more to do such thing. Errors might not happen if they have enough time to prepare. For me, however, silent drill is more than just showing off the syncronicity of the movements or the cost and aesthetic value of their uniforms. Its a conviction of being a Filipino soldier which affects the way he/she disposes him/herself to the public. The movements are very indication of how committed they are in undertaking their duties. These students are the potential leaders of our country. Therefore,the school must make an intensified program for them. Finally, I still congratulate the ADDU CAT Class of 2010-11 for taking part of the Ateneo de Davao History.
Its my third time to attend such important event of the Ateneans in Davao City. Everyone was excited as they march at the ADDU Sports Complex. Parents, administrators, teachers, students played as spectators. Some were cheering as they execute the different military gestures and movements. I'm impressed about their uniform. Most of the colors are showcasing the "true-blue" Atenean color. However, i would consider the performance as fair because it lacks syncrocity, speed and accuracy. I also sighted a number of errors.
I believe that they still need to practice more to do such thing. Errors might not happen if they have enough time to prepare. For me, however, silent drill is more than just showing off the syncronicity of the movements or the cost and aesthetic value of their uniforms. Its a conviction of being a Filipino soldier which affects the way he/she disposes him/herself to the public. The movements are very indication of how committed they are in undertaking their duties. These students are the potential leaders of our country. Therefore,the school must make an intensified program for them. Finally, I still congratulate the ADDU CAT Class of 2010-11 for taking part of the Ateneo de Davao History.
Friday, July 23, 2010
the struggles of selective mutism
All of us are facing daily challenges. It only differs in the gravity and levels depending on how we handle the situations that life is offering us. As an educator and a formator, I'm concerned about the cases of referrals in my office. These are students that need to be closely monitored from time to time.
Few of the cases that i'm handling right now are AD/HD, oppositional defiant disorder, stealing and the most challenging is selective mutism (SM). Based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV), selective mutism is described as a rare psychological mental disorder in children. Children and adults with the disorder are fully capable of speech and understanding language, but can fail to speak in certain social situations when it is expected of them. It is in presentation an inability to speak in certain situations. They function normally in other areas of behavior and learning, though appear withdrawn and some are unable to participate in group activities. As an example, a child may be completely silent at school, for years at a time, but speak quite freely or even excessively at home (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism).
My student has suffered in this disorder for more than two years now since she was enrolled in our school in 2008. I met her a month ago. At first, I didn't realize that she has SM because she greeted her former guidance counselor together with her elder sister as they sneaked on her office. It was only a few minutes later after they left when my officemate told me that she has SM and she's going to be one of the cases I'll handle this school year. I was amaze for she could speak to us freely. And so, I set an appointment with her previous counselor and she relayed everything to me regarding her condition.
She only speaks at home and in most of the public places except in school. If ever she does, it will be a very rare instance and it is with those people whom she trusts specifically those who were/are not her teachers (sister and best friend). I also scanned on her records and discovered that her IQ is superior but her actual performance is only an average. This clearly shows that she's underachieving from her actual intellectual capacity which is superior. It maybe due to her condition because a number of learning opportunities are missed since social skills and communication are major issues in school if one wants to cope with academic demands. I also learned that she has a "trauma" on the school she previously enrolled and this affected her views about it. Bullying and teacher-factor are few of the major concerns she had experienced in that school. Her emotional coping is very low and underdeveloped. This shows on how she manages herself in social situations especially in dealing with difficult scenarios. Based on her records, she was 7 months younger than her age group when she started schooling. However, we could say that her age could be one factor on why she has poor emotional coping. This is a kind of struggle which she might carry until she reaches adolescence and worst yet, in adulthood if not given an immediate help.
As part of the intervention, I went on a meeting with her subject teachers and class moderator. We discussed about the matter and came up with a plan to help her overcome SM. I also referred her to a counselling psychologist for an assessment and I found out important details in the results of her tests. I can’t reveal the entire and actual results here due to issues on confidentiality. However, it is suggested that in dealing with her, people must treat her with utmost care in terms of giving instructions and conversing with her even if she doesn’t talk. There might also be other activities that I’ll be giving which would largely involve her family, friends, classmates and teachers.
Meanwhile, I called her the other day for another session in my office and she mentioned to me about an oral test that she will undertake a few minutes after our session. So, I took that opportunity to make her realize that it’s okay to talk and presented her some possible consequences. I set a goal for her and she agrees to it freely.
On the night of the same day, I receive an email coming from the teacher who gave her the oral test and reported to me how successful it was. Though, she was still accompanied by her sister during the test, she was able to answer the questions asked by her teacher verbally. Hence, this is considered a progress in her condition. I’m so happy to know that our intervention had helped her in some way. I’m hoping that this improvement will continue and eventually she will recover from this dark phase of her life.
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