generous heart...

my lips are cold... since words are futile... for i already said what i wanna say but he never listens. my mind is tired in thinking about us... about our promise... but i believe this already been long broken...

he stares like he doesn't know me anymore... his glances are not mine now... his hand held mine but its never the same as before.... and his touch, his tender touch no longer exalts my soul...

then, silence caught us... but it feels like its never solemn... my heart is telling me to let go for there's no use to fight for what i felt... when his heart is so generous... for he loves another... then another... then another...

i don't wanna go for this neverending journey of pain and i'm hoping that everything will go well... he deserves someone who is very much like him... someone who has a generous heart as well... =)

emptiness

sometimes in our lives, no matter how we make an effort to put things into order... there is always a moment of emptiness... it feels like a vacuum that pulls you down to uncertainty... a doubt that consumes your judgment and it could even test your disposition... affecting how you see the world and others. it's beyond being unhappy... and when this thing happens, everything turns round and round. it becomes more confusing as it started.
but i believe there's no more to argue about this. everything happened for certain damn reason as they say. the process of accepting can be unexplainably hurtful... but rewarding. well, even if things worked differently in a way you wanted, you would still end up like this... torn... because you can't stop things from happening... and you can't control some people from hurting you if you allow them to rule your life at the start. you can tell them how the pain had paralyzed you but you can never demand anything more than that........ yes... maybe, these made me empty...